Jay Quote #1307

Quote from Jay in The Escape

Jay: Are you comfortable? Can I help you with anything that's not disgusting?
Aunt Becky: I'm fine. But I was wondering if, this summer, I could borrow your fishing cabin.
Jay: My fishing cabin?
[aside to camera:]
Jay: My dad had a fishing cabin that he promised would go to me, but the double-crossing bastard left it to my sister Becky, who's also a double-crosser. Now that her memory is Swiss cheese, I can steal my cabin back. Finally, the good guy wins.

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 ‘The Escape’ Quotes

Quote from Gloria

Fred: The stroke may have scrambled some of Becky's memories.
Mitchell: So she doesn't remember me coming out?
Fred: Correct. And now presumes you're straight. That part I can't explain.
Phil: [quietly] Have you tried popping her on the noggin?
Jay: She's not a jukebox, Fonzie.
Gloria: And besides, it doesn't work. It only made my uncle worse. He never woke up.

Quote from Haley

Haley: Oh, gosh, I guess your name must still be in my phone as my emergency contact. I use boyfriends to avoid lectures from my parents. I don't want to wake up in a Tijuana prison and them be all like, "You're grounded."

 Jay Pritchett Quotes

Quote from Kids These Days

Jay: I hate losing to a team with a Viking mascot. Hey, you died out and became Swedes! Hip-hip-hooray for socialism and seasonal depression!

Quote from Bringing Up Baby

Cameron: It's a French Canadian delicacy called poutine.
Jay: Mm. Well, it looks like vomit, so I'm not pou-ting it in my mouth.