Gloria Quote #762

Quote from Gloria in The Escape

Fred: The stroke may have scrambled some of Becky's memories.
Mitchell: So she doesn't remember me coming out?
Fred: Correct. And now presumes you're straight. That part I can't explain.
Phil: [quietly] Have you tried popping her on the noggin?
Jay: She's not a jukebox, Fonzie.
Gloria: And besides, it doesn't work. It only made my uncle worse. He never woke up.

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 ‘The Escape’ Quotes

Quote from Haley

Haley: Oh, gosh, I guess your name must still be in my phone as my emergency contact. I use boyfriends to avoid lectures from my parents. I don't want to wake up in a Tijuana prison and them be all like, "You're grounded."

Quote from Andy

Haley: Andy, um, I have to tell you something. And I'm really, really sorry, but I'm seeing someone.
Andy: Really?
Haley: Yeah.
Andy: Yes! Whoo-hoo! Oh, thank goodness. Me, too. I just didn't know how to tell you, especially if you were dying. She's a Laker girl.
Haley: Oh, wow. A cheerleader. Nice.
Andy: No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Josephine scrapes barnacles off boats in the Great Salt Lake. We call them Laker girls. But they are kind of sex symbols in Utah.

 Gloria Delgado Quotes

Quote from Come Fly with Me

Gloria: [aside to camera] I always wanted a daughter. To dress her up with pretty dresses, do her hair, her nails, her makeup. [chuckles] No one knows this, but for the first year of his life, I made up Manny like a girl and told everybody that he was my daughter. [laughs] Ay, but just for a few times. I didn't want to mess with his head. When he found the pictures, I told him that it was his twin sister who died.

Quote from Unplugged

Jay: Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?
Gloria: Ay, like you would be okay with me stealing a dog.
Jay: No.
Gloria: Exactly. That's why I didn't tell you. Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep, and we have pickles.
Jay: Okay, it worked out this time, but don't forget that stealing is against the law. Now maybe in Colombia-
Gloria: Ah, here we go. Because in Colombia, we trip over goats and we kill people in the street. Do you know how offensive that is? Like we're Peruvians!