Gloria Quote #315

Quote from Gloria in When a Tree Falls

Claire: Look, as I said before, it was an accident.
Store Manager: Heard it a thousand times. Grandmothers, businessmen, honor students. They all say the same thing, "It was an accident. I don't know how that clock radio got in my pants."
Gloria: Oh, for God sake! I don't feel well. Let us go.
Store Manager: Yeah, right. Is that even a baby? 'Cause from here, it looks like a turkey.

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 ‘When a Tree Falls’ Quotes

Quote from Alex

Alex: [aside to camera] Last summer, my sister took a totally humiliating photo of me. Then she posted it to Facebook and refused to take it down. It got 873 likes. Meanwhile, there's not one embarrassing photo of Haley. Even her mug shots were cute. Today, I get my revenge. One photo of Haley, dirty, sweaty, picking up trash like a criminal. It'll be my finest moment. In a few years, I hope to have some more friends and not have time for this kind of stuff.

Quote from Luke

Manny: Look, I'm Mexico. Again. Does anybody care that I'm not from Mexico?
Luke: You keep saying that, but we've never seen a birth certificate.

Quote from Jay

Gloria: Oh, I see what this is. You called Claire to babysit the stupid pregnant lady!
Jay: You're the one who called her.
Gloria: I did?
[aside to camera:]
Jay: I called Claire. Gloria needs watching. She's got a serious case of pregnancy brain. Last week, I found a bar of soap in the fridge and a stick of butter in the shower. I walked around all day smelling like a bucket of popcorn.
Manny: Better than the toast I ate.
Jay: Yet you ate the second piece.