Phil Quote #714
Quote from Phil in When a Tree Falls
Phil: Okay, hold still. And wait for it. This is what you'd look like fat and bald.
Bill: On my phone, that app's called a camera.
Phil: Bill, don't do that to yourself. Let me tell you something. Ellen is one lucky woman. [all laugh]
Jay: Why is that funny?
Phil: Because she's married to Jerry.
Modern Family Quotes
‘When a Tree Falls’ Quotes
Quote from Alex
Alex: [aside to camera] Last summer, my sister took a totally humiliating photo of me. Then she posted it to Facebook and refused to take it down. It got 873 likes. Meanwhile, there's not one embarrassing photo of Haley. Even her mug shots were cute. Today, I get my revenge. One photo of Haley, dirty, sweaty, picking up trash like a criminal. It'll be my finest moment. In a few years, I hope to have some more friends and not have time for this kind of stuff.
Quote from Luke
Manny: Look, I'm Mexico. Again. Does anybody care that I'm not from Mexico?
Luke: You keep saying that, but we've never seen a birth certificate.
Quote from Jay
Gloria: Oh, I see what this is. You called Claire to babysit the stupid pregnant lady!
Jay: You're the one who called her.
Gloria: I did?
[aside to camera:]
Jay: I called Claire. Gloria needs watching. She's got a serious case of pregnancy brain. Last week, I found a bar of soap in the fridge and a stick of butter in the shower. I walked around all day smelling like a bucket of popcorn.
Manny: Better than the toast I ate.
Jay: Yet you ate the second piece.