Claire Quote #142

Quote from Claire in Princess Party

Haley: It's so unfair! You told me I could go!
Claire: I told you you could go if you got a "B" on your history exam, which you didn't.
Haley: I have a learning disability. The letters jump around on the page and appear backwards.
Claire: Honey, we had you tested, like, six times. Trust me, I was praying for dyslexia.

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 ‘Princess Party’ Quotes

Quote from Jay

Gloria: "Once upon a time, there lived a family of bears. There was Papa Bear"- That's you, Jay.
Jay: Ah, okay. Let's see. [squinting]
Gloria: Do you want me to hold it and stand in the driveway?
Jay: "Holy mackerel, this is good salmon." I feel like they missed an opportun-
Gloria: [deep voice] Shh. "I don't want to eat the fish. They are my friends."
Jay: What kind of voice is that?
Gloria: I am a bear.
Jay: A bear? I was gonna get a crucifix.

Quote from Phil

Haley: Oh, my God! Why can't you ever let me have any f- Ew, ew! Dad, gross. Your hand smells like cheese.
Phil: I didn't want to dirty a knife.

 Claire Dunphy Quotes

Quote from The Closet Case

Claire: [aside to camera] That was the moment I realized Phil wanted me to kick Dylan out so he could be the cool one. Well, I can be cool, too. I'm cooler than cool. I'm frigid.

Quote from Pilot

Claire: [aside to camera] I was out of control growing up. There, you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right. I've done our job.