Gloria Quote #296

Quote from Gloria in Open House of Horrors

Young Men: [together] Trick-or-treat.
Gloria: You guys don't even have costumes.
Young Man #1: I'm a skeleton.
Young Man #2: And I'm--I'm a lemon.
Gloria: Aren't you too old to be trick-or-treating?
Young Man #1: Aren't you too old to be having a baby?
Gloria: Ah, you find that funny, lemon? Here's a better joke. Knock, knock. What's gone? Your candy!

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 ‘Open House of Horrors’ Quotes

Quote from Phil

Phil: [aside to camera] You don't get to be district salesman of the year without thinking inside the box. That's right. I said "inside." You know why? 'Cause while everyone's chasing each other around outside the box, you know what the box is? [tapping his skull] Empty.

Quote from Phil

Claire: [on the phone] How's your open house?
Phil: Pretty empty, actually. I kind of just took it out on a Harry Potter. Seriously, though, a Gryffindor letting his mom carry his Quidditch broom? How Hufflepuff is that?

Quote from Luke

Luke: Why are there giant lollipops all over the front yard? And why do they taste so bad?
Alex: Because they're made out of cardboard, mouth-breather.
Phil: Hey! The world needs more dreamers, Luke. Never stop licking things.