Claire Quote #99
Claire: Alex, wait.
Alex: What?
Claire: I wanna talk to you.
Alex: Mom, I don't want another lecture.
Claire: It's not a lecture. I want to tell you something. Honey, I know exactly how you're feeling.
Alex: No, you don't.
Claire: Okay. The- The joke that Grandpa told tonight that- That happened. That- That was true.
Alex: So you were arrested naked?
Claire: I wasn't naked. And I was not arrested, per se. I was driven home one night by the police because my boyfriend and I had gone swimming in somebody's pool and we didn't have bathing suits, and blah, blah, blah. The details aren't important. What matters is that everybody at school was talking about it. And I thought I would die. But it passed. I swear. And now, honey, I'm I'm glad it happened. I've got a funny story to tell at dinner parties.
Alex: So, how long did it take before you thought it was funny?
Claire: Oh, God. Ten, 15 years.
Modern Family Quotes
‘The Kiss’ Quotes
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: [aside to camera] Mitchell has a problem with public displays of affection. I remember once at a New Year's Eve Party, stroke of midnight he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high-five. Two, gays don't high-five.
Quote from Gloria
Jay: Honey, I'm sorry. I'm just teasing you.
Gloria: Instead of being the comedian, why don't you help me?
Jay: What do you need?
Gloria: Slap the chicken.
Jay: Do what?
Gloria: In Colombia, when you cook in honor of the departed you have to scare death away from the food to protect the people that are gonna eat it. Slap it and yell.
Quote from Gloria
Gloria: [aside to camera:] I made all that up. That's not a real custom in Colombia. We're not lunatics. But you mess with us and we mess with you. That's the custom.