Claire Quote #814
Claire: Fine, I lied! I had an interview with a magazine today and I just wanted everything to be perfect!
Alex: [scoffs] Which means getting rid of us?
Haley: Sorry we're such an embarrassment.
Claire: You're right. There's no excuse for what I did. I... I mean, except that you used to make me drop you off three blocks from school. And when you had friends over, you referred to me as Helga, your Swedish nanny! And you told your entire Girl Scout troop for three years that your mother was dead! You have been embarrassed by me your whole lives. I get one day!
[aside to camera:]
Claire: [shows magazine cover] Worth it.
Modern Family Quotes
‘Snapped’ Quotes
Quote from Luke
Phil: Sorry, I'm, uh, a little on edge. I think I've been watching too much "Snapped." Um... can I ask you something? How much do we really know about Gloria?
Luke: The exotic stranger who just popped into our lives out of nowhere? I've had my suspicions about her for years.
[flashback:]
Gloria: [British accent] I shall need the parcel to arrive at my flat by tea time. Splendid, my good man. [normal voice to Jay] The British accent gets me better service. [British accent] Tally-ho!
[present:]
Luke: Her accent was flawless.
Quote from Phil
Phil: All right, then, time for my lecture on geological surveys. [beatboxing]
Bob: Uh, Mr. Dunphy?
Phil: Bedrock...
Bob: I'm sorry. Should we wait for Libby? She's not back from lunch yet.
Ike: Yeah, I heard she was riding her bike and then got hit by a car. Been taken to the hospital.
Phil: What?! That's terrible. I hope she's okay.
Gloria: [filing her nails] Yes, she should be more careful.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: In the crime show I've been bingeing, 9 out of 10 female suspects casually file their nails during police questioning. Was this my fault? Did I push Gloria too far? Had she... snapped?
Quote from Claire
Anne: Let's see, you said your daughter's doing research in Antarctica.
Claire: Yes.
Anne: Any chance we could meet the rest of the clan?
Claire: [chuckles] Um...
[aside to camera:]
Claire: Hell, no. This was for the cover of Corner Office Magazine. I mean, that's basically Vogue for female CEOs. Lately, my family has seemed more suited to a gator-farm billboard.