Haley Quote #287

Quote from Haley in Rash Decisions

Haley: [on the phone] Oh, my God. You're such a slut. Oh, I love it. Mm. Nothing, I'm just taking my sister to a college interview at a coffee shop. Ugh. I know, right? Oh, I totally forgot to tell you what happened last night. Lisa, Enzo, and I were at a bar in Echo Park, and Enzo was like, "My dream is to run the bases at Dodger Stadium. " So I'm like, "Screw it, let's do it. " So, Lisa tucks her hair up to a baseball cap, and we convince the grounds keeper that she's Justin Bieber and that "Justin" will take a picture with him. And it worked! No, you shut up! That's not even the best part. Enzo starts running the bases, and he whips his shirt off. And Lisa gets caught up in it and takes off her shirt. And the grounds keeper's like, "Whoa, you're not Justin Bieber. " So he starts chasing us around with a rake. I know! Oh, wait. Who is that? Denise? Put that dirty hooker on the phone. Hey, girl. Did I tell you what happened last night? So, Enzo said that his dream was to run the bases at Dodger Stadium, - and I was like, "Screw it, let's do it."
Alex: Oh, my God! Do you ever stop talking?! I am sitting here trying to mentally prepare for one of the most important moments of my life, so can you please just shut up?

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 ‘Rash Decisions’ Quotes

Quote from Manny

Gloria: We have to get rid of Stella.
Jay: Slow down. We haven't decided anything yet.
Gloria: Yes, we have. It's what's best for Joe.
Manny: And for whatever it's worth, my eyes have stopped itching, I can taste my food, and I have more energy.
Jay: You took a three-hour nap yesterday.
Manny: I was tired from the marathon.
Jay: The "Downton Abbey" marathon?

Quote from Andy

Phil: Andy, 36 hours to the open house. You ready?
Andy: I was born ready. Actually, that's not true. I was two months premature, weighed three and a half pounds.

Quote from Jay

Manny: You know, now that I think about it, I could be allergic to Stella. I've been a little stuffy since we got her.
Jay: You were stuffy long before Stella. Do you not remember scolding that waiter at Chuck E. Cheese for serving you from the right?