Phil: That's it! I'm done! Oh! Haley, Dylan, this little living arrangement of yours, it's not working out and it's about to change.
Haley: Dad, why are you freaking out?
Phil: Because I'm your father and I can't have the two of you sleeping together in the same room like it's no big deal. So, from now on, you're gonna show me the respect I deserve and sneak around behind my back.
Claire: Do what, now?
Haley: I don't understand.
Phil: Starting tonight, you're sleeping in Alex's room, and if there's any monkey business, better happen after I'm asleep.