Lois Quote #758
Quote from Lois in Garage Sale
Malcolm: Reese, don't- You stupid jackass. You don't know what you're doing!
Lois: That is enough out of you! Are you really so insecure that you can't stand anyone else getting any attention? Your brother has worked so hard to make this yard sale a success, he doesn't need you undermining him at ever turn.
Malcolm: Mom, you have to listen to me. We have a Nortair 680b. It's a type of computer that was built in 1976. There's only a few in existence. And Craig is going to give us $1,300 for it.
Lois: $1,300? Oh, my God.
[Reese smashes the computer over his leg]
Lois: What are you doing?!
Reese: I have a lot of things to sell, and I don't have time to argue with this bozo. I've got a Jet Ski on hold, and the place closes at 6:00.
Lois: What are you talking about?
Reese: I'm buying a jet ski with my yard sale money.
Lois: That money isn't yours. It's going to rebuild our bedroom wall.
Reese: But you said I was in charge. That means I get the money!
Lois: No, it doesn't.
Reese: Then why the hell would I want to be in charge?
Lois: Reese, this is helping you become a better person by building your self-esteem, which you are obviously going to need if you are stupid enough to throw away $1,300 that this family desperately needs!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Garage Sale’ Quotes
Quote from Craig
Craig: I'm cooperating! I never met this man before. I hate the Constitution. I hate free speech. I'll snitch. I know things!
Quote from Craig
Craig: This better be good. There'll be hell to pay if Jellybean wakes up from her massage and doesn't see me on the table next to her. [gasps] Oh, my God! Is that a Nortair?
Malcolm: It's a Nortair 680b. It's, like, the first personal computer ever made. You have an interest in this type of stuff, don't you?
Craig: There aren't many of these left. I'll give you five bucks for it.
Malcolm: Yeah, right. I checked online. This is in mint condition. It's worth at least $1,300.
Craig: Deal. No take-backs, double black magic, tap it, bomb it, flush it down the toilet. You understand it's going to take me a couple days to get the money.
Malcolm: That's exactly what I want. I want you to buy it this Saturday at our garage sale. In front of everybody. With cash. You're going to react in horror when I tell you Reese was going to throw this in the trash. And then you're going to tell everyone they should have listened to me all along.
Craig: You know, right now you're sounding a lot like a James Bond villain.
Malcolm: Me? There's nothing wrong with me. I'm fine. And right. And right! And on Saturday, everyone's going to know it.
Craig: Okay, but these revenge plans have a way of backfiring. Word to the wise, if you ever make someone an Ex-Lax milkshake, don't do it on an empty stomach.
Quote from Hal
Hal: [on radio] There are so many things the government doesn't want you to know, and that's why they don't want Kid Charlemagne on this mic. Do I love my country? Yes. Do I vote? I used to, until they moved our polling place to the house with the big dog.
Lois: [o.s.] Hal! I said dinner!
Hal: [on tape] Kid Charlemagne is back on the air.