Hal Quote #286
Hal: All right, we're gonna end this right here. Winner take all.
Abe: Fine.
Hal: Turn 'em up.
Abe: Three fives!
Hal: Three fives with a jack. [all cheer]
Abe: That makes six fives. What the hell kind of deck has six fives?!
Hal: I don't know. I got them from the boys' room.
Abe: You call yourself a poker player? You don't even have a decent deck!
Hal: Well, I'm sorry I don't have solid gold playing cards like you're accustomed to at your house!
Abe: This poor-guy act is getting a little tiring.
Hal: Your superior act is getting a little old, too.
Abe: Well, if I'm such a big jerk, why'd you come over?!
Hal: Pardon me for wanting to play poker with my best friend! I mean, I- I was really excited to come over and play poker and... meet your other friends.
Abe: Truth be told, I was excited for you to come over, too. I bought a new shirt.
Hal: That Hawaiian one? [Abe nods] I like that one.
Abe: Why are we fighting like this?
Hal: Because we're idiots! [both chuckle] Well, boys, what do you say we all go out, get some ice cream?
Abe: Sounds good to me.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Poker’ Quotes
Quote from Stevie
Stevie: And still... he has... nothing!
Malcolm: Alright. You know what? That's it! I'm writing about you doing a movie.
Stevie: But my movie's... about your paper.
Malcolm: Yeah. I'm doing my paper about your movie about me doing my paper!
Stevie: Fine! My movie's... about you doing... your paper... about me doing... my...
Malcolm: Alright, I get it!
Stevie: ... movie... about you...
Quote from Lois
Lois: Oh, with the boys asleep this house is so quiet!
Hal: Mm-hm.
Lois: Such a nice idea to build a fire.
Hal: Yeah. Hey, I didn't build a fire. I thought you built a fire.
[After Hal and Lois extinguish the fire, they comb through the charred evidence on the kitchen table as the boys stand behind them:]
Hal: Well, looks like Reese got a D in English. And Dewey seems to be fighting again.
Dewey: Biting.
Lois: Oh, Malcolm, tell your teacher I'd love to chaperone the class overnight. We can share a tent.
Quote from Stevie
Malcolm: I can't believe Mr. Herkabe allowed you to do a video project instead of a paper!
Stevie: You could have... asked!
Malcolm: I don't have parents rich enough to buy me a videocamera.
Stevie: Rich... and compensating.
Malcolm: I don't know even what I'm going to write about. I mean, what's your movie gonna be about?
Stevie: The creative... process. You writing... your paper.
Malcolm: Is that on?! Turn it off! I don't have an idea. You're going to make me look like an idiot. I'm serious!
Stevie: This is... great! Now knock... me over!