Lois Quote #237

Quote from Lois in Christmas

Lois: Let the machine get it.
Hal: Come on! You know when you cry it makes me cry. You are a wonderful mother. And you're a wonderful person.
Francis: [on answerphone] "Hey, Mom. It's Francis. I just wanted to let you know I am disgusted with the way you treat Grandma! Abandoning a helpless old woman at Christmas? I hope you're ashamed of yourself!"
Lois: I am. I am. Hal, the boys don't deserve this. I mean, they're a little high-spirited, but they're good, good boys!

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 ‘Christmas’ Quotes

Quote from Ida

Francis: Oh, my god, you're crazy! I just thought you were evil, but you are nuts!
Ida: What are you talking about?
Francis: Grandma, gifts aren't conditional. They're gifts. You give them to people because you love them! They're not something you can take away because of some petty slight! You're not teaching people anything You haven't got back at them. They don't even know they've upset you! All you've done here is... is constructed a monument to your own insanity! What kind of a person does that?
Ida: A lonely, bitter, old woman.
Francis: What?
Ida: [sighs] Look what I've done. What use is all this things to me now? They could have brought someone some happiness. Instead they rot here. Oh.
Francis: Grandma?
Ida: My hea- My heart. I think it's... melting. Yes, it's melting. Oh. You've shown me the way, Francis, by yelling at me. Quick. Go get my magic sled and me and my reindeers will go and give Christmas to all the mean, stupid, rude people! We'll all join hands and sing songs and we'll sprinkle the ingrates with fairy dust!

Quote from Ida

Ida: [card plays "Jingle Bells"] You do this to torture me? To hurt me?!
Francis: You don't like Christmas music?
Ida: It sounds like a song they sang when they rode through villages throwing babies on the fire!
Francis: They sang Jingle Bells?
Ida: They sang something.

Quote from Ida

Francis: Well, look at that. 8pm already. Way past bedtime. Where do I sleep?
Ida: You're sittin' on it.
Francis: Does it turn into a bed?
Ida: Yes, it becomes a bed. It's a special magic sofa. It opens up for magic lazy boy. And the angels come and feed you grapes and sing to you while you sleep. And it flies around the room granting wishes for boys what are stupid.
Francis: Alright, it doesn't fold out.