Lois: Let the machine get it.
Hal: Come on! You know when you cry it makes me cry. You are a wonderful mother. And you're a wonderful person.
Francis: [on answerphone] "Hey, Mom. It's Francis. I just wanted to let you know I am disgusted with the way you treat Grandma! Abandoning a helpless old woman at Christmas? I hope you're ashamed of yourself!"
Lois: I am. I am. Hal, the boys don't deserve this. I mean, they're a little high-spirited, but they're good, good boys!