Francis Quote #176

Quote from Francis in Health Scare

Lavernia: Are you the biggest idiot to ever walk this Earth?
Francis: Good morning.
Lavernia: What did I tell you to do, jackass?
Francis: To paint the kitchen, which I'm doing.
Lavernia: What kind of a moron paints it white? You wanna see all the dirt? What'd they teach you in college, anyway?
Francis: For your information, I'm a high school dropout. And I used the paint that you left for me.
Lavernia: I moved that paint so you could get to the green, idiot. Now you've got to do this over. I don't care if you're here all night doing it.
Francis: What?
Lavernia: That paint you wasted is coming out of your pay.
Francis: [mutters to himself] Maybe I should just paint it the same color as your dye job.
Lavernia: What?
Eric: He didn't say anything.
Francis: I said maybe I should paint it the same color as your dye job, you sagging, leathery, hatchet-faced, dried-up old hag.


 ‘Health Scare’ Quotes

Quote from Francis

Lavernia: You disgust me. You better run home to Mama, so she can kiss your tears away and make you cocoa and tell you- [Francis punches back]
Francis: For your information, my mother's a tormenting control freak. It would never occur to her to make me cocoa!

Quote from Reese

Malcolm: You can't call that a short cut! A shortcut has to be shorter!
Reese: Says who?!
Malcolm: Says the word!
Reese: No, a shortcut is just when you don't use regular streets.
Malcolm: So, according to you, if it took 150 years to cross the street, just as long as you went through some bushes and trees, that would qualify as a short cut?!
Reese: God, you hate being wrong.

Quote from Reese

[After Malcolm and Reese jump out of their beds fully-dressed at 11pm, Reese holds a hand mirror under the bedroom door.]
Malcolm: Booby trapped?
Reese: A broom handle tied to a string of tin cans. A classic.
Malcolm: You know, if Mom ever trusted us, I think she'd be pleasantly surprised.
[Malcolm and Reese put decoys in their beds to make it look like they're sleeping]
Reese: Yeah. We're basically good kids.