Hal Quote #903
Hal: I just have to come out and say it. I was incredible, and you were no slouch yourself.
Lois: I'm the lucky one, Hal. All I had to do was show up.
Hal: Did you hear the phone ring?
Lois: Hal, I couldn't have heard the space shuttle land.
Dewey: [on answer machine] Hi, this is Dewey. Remember me? Your fourth son? Nah, I don't expect you to miss me, but at some point, Dad, you may miss the wallet you threw at me.
Lois: You gave him your wallet?!
Dewey: So here's the deal: If you'd like to see all your money and credit cards again...
Hal: Wait a minute. That bell ringing in the background. I know I've heard that before! [rewinds tape]
Dewey: [on tape] So here's the deal: If you'd like to see all your...
Hal: That is Saint Matthew's. No, wait. Saint Luke's on Third. It's definitely a Lutheran bell. [rewinds tape]
Dewey: [on tape] If you'd like to see your all your money and credit cards again, meet me where they're building the new library, at the corner of Washington and Olive.
Hal: Ah! That's it!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Morp’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: Will you stop feeling sorry for yourself, there must be a hundreds of pictures of you in here. [combs through photographs] Well, here is poor, neglected Dewey having great time at SeaWorld.
Dewey: It's so blurry, you can't even tell that's me.
Hal: Well, you can't prove it's not.
Lois: Dewey, at least we got you a memory book. That's more than we've done for Jamie.
Dewey: And I suppose that makes you feel pretty good about yourselves.
Lois: You want to know the truth? You were the fourth child. By the time you came along, this house was in a state of complete chaos. The only sleep I got was when I'd nod off on the drive to work. So forgive us if we didn't get a chance to take every picture, every video, or get you every vaccination.
Dewey: I wasn't vaccinated?!
Lois: Tell you what, Dewey. You get whooping cough, I promise I'll take a ton of pictures.
Quote from Dewey
Hal: Why do we have to haul all this stuff in here when we have no intention of giving him a party?
Lois: We have to humor him until he reveals himself. This has got to be the place. [Dewey rides around on a small carousel] There you are! You are in so much trouble, young man!
Hal: I want my wallet now.
Dewey: Here.
Hal: At least we got here before you spent all my cash.
Dewey: It cost so much to keep this place open after hours, I had to put that on your credit card.
Lois: Okay, Mr. Smart Guy. Now you can help us load all this stuff back in the car. I know you think you're having a party, but you can forget about it.
Dewey: This isn't for me. It's too late for my childhood, but it's not too late for his.
Lois: Jamie?
Dewey: Here's a camera. So now you have no excuse for not documenting every important event in Jamie's life. Starting tonight with his party.
Hal: This is a really nice camera. How could you afford- Right.
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: [over microphone] Can I have your attention, everybody? I just thought you people should know that while you're up here enjoying what you have deluded yourselves into thinking is the greatest night of your lives, the people who you've excluded from this charade are downstairs right now, having a party that obliterates yours. You think you're on the inside, but you're on the outside. How does that make you feel? [chuckles] [silence]
[As "I Feel Good" by James Brown plays, the students dance]