Malcolm Quote #755
Quote from Malcolm in Cattle Court
Malcolm: Craig, I just checked the schedule and it still says that you're covering for my mom Friday night. I thought you were going to do something about that.
Craig: Oh, I think she suffered enough. [whispers] Her name tag's been on upside down all night.
Malcolm: Craig, don't you want to be taken seriously?
Craig: I'm taken seriously.
Malcolm: No, you're not. Especially not by my mom. She has nothing but complete and utter contempt for you.
Craig: That's not true.
Malcolm: Oh, yeah? She said the reason she ever makes eye-contact with you is because the rest of you is too hard to look at.
Craig: She did?
Malcolm: And you think she doesn't know that her name tag's upside down? Of course she does. She just doesn't care, because it was only Craig the doormat who did it. You mean nothing to her. Nothing at all. You have to stand up to her. For once in your life, Craig, be a man!
Craig: I hate her! [sobs and runs away]
Malcolm: [to camera] Okay, so I lied and destroyed a man so I could go to a concert. I'll get him a T-shirt.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Cattle Court’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
Lois: And we can all thank Reese for the wonderful dinner he brought home from work.
Hal: Oh, way to go, son. And someday, all that toner I keep bringing home will come in handy, too.
Quote from Dewey
Dewey: Six, seven, eight, nine, ten. I win. Wow, I smoked you again, Dad. Looks like I'm just better at Life than you.
Hal: Good for you, Dewey. But I hope you know that this isn't how things work in the real world. It's very oversimplified.
Dewey: Hmm.
Hal: I mean, you can't just break into a zoo, roll a couple of elevens and suddenly become the dean of a university.
Dewey: I did.
Hal: Son, I'm just trying to give you a life lesson here.
Dewey: Yet that's my orange limo sitting at the finish line, isn't it? Interesting.
Hal: [pretends to read card] "Dewey goes straight to bed with no dessert." Interesting.
Quote from Hal
Dewey: Dad? What's going on? I got your message at school. Is everything okay?
Hal: Everything's about to be. Have a seat.
Dewey: You pulled me out of a math test to play a game with you?
Hal: This is much more important than some useless math test. I have to make sure that you understand you got lucky last time. Life won't always go your way, Dewey. And the sooner you learn that lesson, the better. Sit down. Sit.
[later:]
Dewey: "You study hard and become an astronaut." All right.
Hal: What?! What?! What kind of lesson is this stupid game teaching you?! Where's the card that tells you your hemorrhoids are not covered by your health plan, huh?! Oh, would that not make a fun game?