Malcolm Quote #699
Quote from Malcolm in Jessica Stays Over
Malcolm: Jessica, I have to talk to you.
Jessica: Malcolm, what are you doing here? Where's Lois?
Malcolm: Still at the movies. [sighs] I told her everything. I couldn't hold it back from her. We were in the lobby, and I saw something that reminded me of how much she really loves me. This mom was holding up her son so he could get a drink of water, and I thought, "What kind of Mom lets their kid drink from a public drinking fountain?" She would have yelled at me about all the germs, and I thought about how much she really cares about me, and I couldn't hold it back.
Jessica: Malcolm, we'll talk about this later.
Malcolm: [sits between Jessica and Mike] It was horrible. I tried to explain that getting close to her started off as a way to use her, but... It turned into something real. But she didn't care. She was just too hurt. She said she didn't want to look at me anymore. And then she walked right out of Autumn Encounter and straight into Body Count III. It's too bad, because Autumn Encounter looked really good.
Mike: Can make myself a sandwich?
Jessica: Wait. Mike, this won't take long.
Malcolm: [whines] My mom used to make me sandwiches. Now she'll never make me sandwiches again. [sobs]
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Jessica Stays Over’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
Dewey: Is that a bee?
Hal: That is how you know it's fresh. You won't find any bees in your store-bought honey, I'll tell you that much.
Dewey: Where did this come from?
Hal: Spoils of war, Dewey. You know that beehive in the toolshed I've been battling for months? Victory is mine.
Dewey: You did it yourself? How'd you know how to do that?
Hal: It's instinctual. See, human beings were born with everything they need to destroy bees. Except the poison, you have to buy that.
Dewey: I feel kind of sorry for the bees, though.
Hal: It's survival of the fittest, Dewey. If they had won, they'd be spreading us on toast right now.
Quote from Reese
Reese: You can bite my American ass, Zhao Lee.
Dewey: What's that?
Reese: The school made us adopt pen pals from different countries. I got stuck with this loser from China.
Dewey: What's wrong with China?
Reese: It's not what you think, Dewey. He won't send you illegal fireworks or get your nunchucks autographed by the emperor. The guy's a total jerk. It started off with a simple request to apologize for Pearl Harbor. The guy wouldn't do it. He's so arrogant. When I draw squiggles, it's nonsense. When he does it, it's a language. I was so pissed. But then I thought, be the better man, and reason with the guy.
Dewey: "Do you want me to kick your butt? Check yes or no."
Reese: And there's his response. He couldn't even follow simple instructions.
Dewey: "You need help, Reese."
Reese: He thinks a whole planet between us is going to protect him. He thinks he's so smart. We'll see who's smart when I mail myself to China and kick his upside-down ass.
Quote from Reese
Reese: Six boxes of cereal, two gallons of milk, eight peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, adult diapers and Madlibs.
Dewey: You thought of everything.
Reese: And I also packed some barbells so I can get there in fighting shape.
Dewey: They look like soup cans.
Reese: You noticed. See, there's a lot of things that serve two purposes. Like my pillow. It's stuffed with M&M's so I can sleep and snack from the same source. It's the same way NASA designed the old space capsules.
Dewey: The very same.