Malcolm Quote #574
Malcolm: Craig's driving you?
Lois: Yeah. You can take the car.
Malcolm: But we can just go together.
Lois: Could we? Huh. You've been so intent on acting like we weren't in the same family.
Malcolm: No, that's not what I've been doing! I'm just mature enough to draw a distinction between what goes on at home and what we have to do at work.
Lois: Oh, I see. So it's okay to sell out your principles as long as long as you're doing it for money.
Malcolm: Yes, Mom! Big money! I've thrown away all morality and agreed to go to hell for $6.25 an hour!
Lois: You know that sign is a bigoted image, Malcolm.
Malcolm: It's not that bad. It's a picture of a man with a mop and a beer. People who mop drink beer. People who drink beer mop.
Craig: Oh, Slappy? That thing's amazing. He's tripled our Smooth Malt Liquor sales.
Lois: I can't believe I've raised a son who is so insensitive to things that really matter.
Malcolm: If I'm insensitive, I got that way by watching you!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Standee’ Quotes
Quote from Malcolm
Malcolm: You know what's really bothering you? You don't think I'm prejudiced. You're just mad that at work I don't have to obey you. And now that I'm getting older, you're losing more and more control over me every day. You can't stand that soon I'll be free!
Trey: He has a dream!
Malik: Sing it, my brother!
Lois: Should we talk about what's really bothering you? It's that you know I'm right! You do have a code of ethics that you're trying to deny!
Malcolm: What do you know about ethics? Bringing this in here to embarrass me in front of Dad's friends?! Did I tell Dad how you said that sooner or later he'll realize he'll look ridiculous, and quit this stupid fight with the trash man?! Did I?! No! Because, no matter how mad I get, I always treat you with some level of decency!
Hal: I'll realize I look ridiculous.
Lois: Hal, that's not the point!
Quote from Lois
Lois: What is this?
Craig: It's the new ad campaign for Smooth Malt Liquor.
Lois: You don't find this offensive?!
Craig: Why?
Lois: Well, it's a Black janitor with a mop and a six pack of Malt Liquor in his hand.
Craig: I don't know that he's the janitor, maybe he just spilled something.
Lois: His name is Slappy?!
Craig: A delightful throwback to a simpler time.
Lois: Well, I'm getting rid of it.
Craig: If you get caught, I don't know about this. And I would have loved to have been called Slappy growing up!
Quote from Reese
Reese: Dewey, could you reach in my sock drawer and get me a pair of socks?
Dewey: OK.
Reese: Not that one. On top.
Dewey: Not on the top of the dresser. Right in front of you, the sock drawer.
Reese: That's your sock drawer. Go next to it. On the other side. Not behind the dresser. All you have to do is reach into my drawer and... [Reese screams as a crab bites his finger] So stupid, Dewey.