Hal Quote #432
Quote from Hal in Clip Show 2
Lois: Hal, this is hard enough without you getting us sidetracked. This isn't about Francis. This is about our children. You know what I mean.
Hal: Why is Francis such a bad idea? He's working, he's married. He's showing responsibility. Look, I will be the first to admit that Francis was not the easiest kid for you to deal with, but he has changed.
Lois: Oh, yeah. Big change. He quit school, moved 3,000 miles, and married someone that he knew for exactly 20 minutes. You can't make life decisions on a whim and be a good parent. A good parent understands that actions have consequences.
Hal: Lois, we are parents precisely because we can't remember that. You have never been able to give him credit for anything good he does.
Lois: Good he does? Like what?
Hal: Like... Look, I am not a performing seal, Lois. I can't just bark out a list of good deeds while you take a bow and throw me a mackerel out of your fanny pack.
Lois: I can't talk to you when you're hysterical.
Hal: No, no, no. You can't get out of this by playing the "my husband is crazy" card. It didn't work with the airport security screener, and it is not going to work now.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Clip Show 2’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: You can't blame the way Francis is on me.
Hal: You- You honestly don't see your part in all of this? Parents' weekend at the military school. You two got into a sword fight. You dragged him off the field in the middle of a tee-ball game because you thought he gave you a look. His first words were, "You shut up." Lois, you two have been at each other's throats since the day he was born.
Lois: He started it.
Hal: What?
Lois: Nothing.
Hal: No, no. You said he started it. What does that mean?
Lois: Just leave me alone.
Hal: How the hell can a baby start anything?
Lois: I don't know, Hal. It's just, everything started so badly right after he was born.
Hal: What, the staph infection? What does that have to do with anything?
Lois: I was stuck in a hospital without my baby. Completely isolated. For six weeks, all I could do was lie there and-and worry about him and think about how much he needed me to nurse him and to and to hold him. And when they finally let me out, I run home as fast as I can to take care of poor little Francis, and when I get there, I discover he's happy. He couldn't have cared less I was gone all that time. You were taking care of him. He was happy as a clam. I was just an intrusion.
Hal: Honey, I had no idea...
Lois: I know it's wrong and I know it's creepy and I can't help it. I'm the worst mother of all time.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Okay, tangible assets. How do we expect to find anything? We just shove stuff in boxes. Look, there's a fortune cookie in here.
Lois: Wait, here's something we already did. This'll save time. We already decided Malcolm gets the coin collection.
Hal: Great. What coin collection?
Lois: You remember that proof set we had hidden in the closet? The one that Dewey found and swallowed...
Hal: Oh, yeah, that was 500 bucks down the drain. And not one dime in the strainer.
Quote from Lois
Hal: Why do we have to do this in the middle of the night anyway?
Lois: I will not have the boys see us writing a will. If they start thinking about a future without us, we'll totally lose control.