Lois: Hal, this is hard enough without you getting us sidetracked. This isn't about Francis. This is about our children. You know what I mean.
Hal: Why is Francis such a bad idea? He's working, he's married. He's showing responsibility. Look, I will be the first to admit that Francis was not the easiest kid for you to deal with, but he has changed.
Lois: Oh, yeah. Big change. He quit school, moved 3,000 miles, and married someone that he knew for exactly 20 minutes. You can't make life decisions on a whim and be a good parent. A good parent understands that actions have consequences.
Hal: Lois, we are parents precisely because we can't remember that. You have never been able to give him credit for anything good he does.
Lois: Good he does? Like what?
Hal: Like... Look, I am not a performing seal, Lois. I can't just bark out a list of good deeds while you take a bow and throw me a mackerel out of your fanny pack.
Lois: I can't talk to you when you're hysterical.
Hal: No, no, no. You can't get out of this by playing the "my husband is crazy" card. It didn't work with the airport security screener, and it is not going to work now.