Malcolm: Oh, my God.
Stevie: Call... nine... one...

Spangler: So there we were - the ocean, my stepfather and me. As the storm raged overhead, he made one final lunge for the rudder. I ripped it from his hands and stared him down. He knew that I was prepared to kill him. I left port that day a 16-year-old boy. I returned a man.
Francis: That was an amazing story, sir. I mean, I was skeptical at first, but we do have something in common. I mean, look at the way both our mothers abandoned us.
Spangler: What are you talking about?
Francis: You know, how I was shipped off here and you were left with your wet nurse for all those years.
Spangler: That story had nothing to do with my mother. It had to do with me finally taking responsibility for my own actions.
Francis: Just sounded like she may have been a little bit distant.
Spangler: Well, that is none of your business. I swear, you are absolutely fixated on mothers.
Francis: I am not fixated.
Spangler: Can you name one thing in your life that you don't blame on your mother?
Francis: Sure. ... Ugh, I'm sorry. I was just giving an opinion.
Spangler: Well, it's that pop psychology nonsense that-
Francis: It is nothing to get defensive about.
Spangler: I am not defensive. Every time anybody denies a lie, they're called defensive.
Francis: Fine. I take it back. Your mother was a saint.
Spangler: I am not saying that at all.

Spangler: Son, what were you thinking?! Stealing 200 frogs from the biology lab and setting them loose on the highway!
Francis: I was freeing the alleged frogs, sir. Killing live animals in the name of science is inhumane.
Spangler: No! Inhumane is sitting in a car for two and a half hours when I live only eight blocks from campus.
Francis: Sir, I didn't mean-
Spangler: I am tired of all the things you didn't mean to do. You didn't mean to come in four hours after curfew. You didn't mean to replace the morning reveille record with a selection from trip-hop wizard Tricky. Maybe I should just rename this "Francis's 'I didn't mean to' file."
Francis: That would be a bold choice, sir.
Spangler: Glibness. What a surprise. I'm giving you exactly ten seconds to tell me why I shouldn't put you on latrine detail for the rest of this semester.
Francis: Okay. Um... "Why shouldn't I have to clean toilets for the next three months?" It's an intriguing question. Is that a new tie, sir?
Spangler: Four seconds.
Francis: What a beautiful beach. Did you take this, sir? Because you've truly captured your young male friend's... Speedo.
Spangler: That is a picture of me. Now if I were you, I wouldn't try to distract me and... [looks at picture]
Francis: Sir? Sir?
Spangler: Hmm? That'll be all, cadet.