Hal Quote #357
Quote from Hal in Stupid Girl
Man: That's your ground speed indicator and that's your vibration tachometer.
Hal: Check. [laughs] Yes, sir! Can't wait to resurface some roads with this baby.
Man: Wow, looks like you're all set.
Hal: Yes. Now, let me ask you a hypothetical. I mean, if I was to accidentally run over something... I mean crush it into dust where they're completely unrecognizable...
Man: You'd want to center it in the middle of the drum. That is, if such a tragic incident should occur.
Hal: Come again?
Man: Look, a lot of our, uh, "road builders" have that inevitable fragile item cross their paths.
Hal: And if I were to encounter such a fragile item?
Man: You'd have no choice but to speed up until that item no longer posed a threat to your road building. Now sign here, and you can get to work.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Stupid Girl’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
Malcolm: How do you go through your life without worrying that bad things are going to happen?
Reese: I don't know. I guess if I feel myself starting to worry, I just sing the Minty-Mint song in my head. [sings] They're cool, they're fresh, they'll clean your breath Minty-Mints are your breath's friend.
Malcolm: So, when I just asked you that question about failing, you were thinking about that song?
Reese: Yep.
Lois: [o.s.] Boys, for the last time, get in here, and help me with these groceries now!
Reese: [lays back down on bed] Minty-Mints are your breath's friend. [chuckles]
Quote from Otto
Otto: Ah, Francis. I am such a lucky man. When I left for this country, all of my friends are warning me, "Otto, Otto, be careful. People will try to take advantage of you." But this is not the case. Like that Mr. Dodson. He knows so much more about ranching than I do. But does he act all superior and high and mighty? No! No! Instead, he teaches me. Like before today, I did not know that cows need ultraviolet protection.
Francis: What? What is this stuff?
Otto: Sunscreen. For cows.
Francis: Otto, how much did you pay for this?
Otto: $200 a bucket, plus, of course the zinc for their noses. [vehicle departs outside] Do not worry. I already paid him.
Quote from Hal
Dewey: You're going to the steamroller, aren't you?
Hal: [gasps] So what if I am? I rented it. Why shouldn't I get to use it? It's a free country.
Dewey: Dad, you've been crushing things for five days straight. Have you even slept?
Hal: That's the thing, Dewey. Ever since I got the steamroller, I don't have to sleep. It's like the laws of nature don't apply to me.
Dewey: What's this?
Hal: Nothing.
Dewey: It's a brochure for a wrecking ball.
Hal: It's not even mine, okay? I'm just holding it for a friend.
Dewey: Dad, I think you have a problem.
Hal: Why can't everyone just leave me alone?!