Hal Quote #318
Quote from Hal in Dewey's Dog
Doctor: All right, young man, I think you're empty.
Hal: Well?
Doctor: He's fine. We didn't find any candles but we did find some marbles and the waistband to a pair of underpants.
Dewey: Don't ask.
Hal: Thank you, Doctor. All right, Dewey, this is the end. You and your brothers are now officially in the red zone.
Dewey: But-
Hal: Red zone, mister! Tomorrow night I am taking your mother out on an emergency date. It will be a beautiful, romantic, magical evening that we need very badly and nothing is going to derail it on penalty of death! [Dewey nods] Good. Do you want your army man? [Dewey shakes his head]
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Dewey's Dog’ Quotes
Quote from Dewey
Dewey: Ever since the day I was born, you guys have been torturing me. I remember you trying to switch me for another baby at the park. I remember you telling me the tooth fairy was a vampire. I remember every wet willy, every booger sandwich, every stink hat-
Reese: Dewey, we're sorry!
Dewey: ...every waffle butt, every Chester Backster and every purple nurple! And now you're going to pay. [Marshmallow barks]
Malcolm: Dewey, this isn't gonna work. Mom and Dad'll be home in a few hours, that dog will be gone, you'll be in trouble and we'll kick your ass for the next ten years!
Dewey: I know. So we'd better get started.
Malcolm: What do you want?
Dewey: Everything. I want everything.
Quote from Spangler
Francis: I couldn't sleep at all last night.
Eric: Me, too. It's like there's something creepy in the air.
Spangler: Francis!
Francis: Commandant Spangler!
[Eric drops a tray of cutlery as he salutes]
Francis: What are you doing in Alaska?
Spangler: I've come for you, Francis! I've been searching for you for months.
Francis: Me? Why?
Spangler: Why? Because... after 32 years as an educator and disciplinarian, your desertion stood out as my only failure. A failure that... haunted my every waking moment. I began to see your face in those of other young cadets who didn't deserve the wrath that I poured down on their innocent souls. There was a lawsuit. Charges were filed. Disgrace. I can't even remember the fire but I do... remember... the cause! Through all of my suffering... I saw the stupid grinning face of the one person responsible for all of my suffering!
Eric: Who?
Spangler: Die! Die! Die! [whimpers]
Francis: Sir, cut it out, your hooks are cold. [Spangler sobs]
Quote from Dewey
Hal: I don't understand it! An entire roast?! With your bare hands?! And the... the... The salad, the potatoes, the green beans! What do you have to say for yourself?!
Dewey: I was hungry, I guess.
Reese: [to Malcolm] This is great. Let's tell him about the dog and really nail his coffin shut!
Malcolm: Not yet. I have a hunch.
Hal: An entire stick of butter?!
Reese: Now! Let's tell them now.
Malcolm: Wait for it, wait for it. Wait a second.
Hal: How could you eat a candle?
Dewey: I like candles. [bites off a chunk of candle] I think they're good.
Hal: That's it! You are going to the hospital and getting your stomach pumped!