Lois Quote #270
Quote from Lois in Hal's Birthday
Lois: [to the boys] OK, everybody, calm down. I understand what you're saying, I am not gonna yell, I am not gonna scream. We are capable of talking about this without raising our voices. Now, boys, I want you to understand I'm sorry about what happened. But you have to understand I get a little emotional when I learn that my oldest son was acting like an idiot and throwing his life away. Now, that doesn't mean-
[Piama throws a bucket of cold water over Lois]
Piama: Stop talking about him like that! Francis is my heart!
[Hal throws a bucket of cream over Piama]
Hal: OK, we're even! Everyone's fine and there's no need for escalation! Isn't it beautiful when things work out?
Francis: Yeah, I'd say this has gone pretty well, considering we got off to a rocky start. We couldn't have asked for a better ending.
Lois: Get your wife out of my sight!
Francis: [whispers to Piama] She called you my wife, that's progress.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Hal's Birthday’ Quotes
Quote from Piama
Lois: Will you stop this, please?
Piama: You just can't stand for someone in your fancy family to marry beneath him.
Lois: What?
Piama: Just because I'm not all classy like you.
Lois: Classy? You think I'm classy?
Piama: Don't laugh at me.
Lois: I'm sorry, it's just this is a first. I hate to break it to you, but I am not classy.
Piama: Oh, yeah.
Lois: You know, I guess what you call class, I call manners.
Piama: I came down here hoping to get along with you. But you're not gonna let that happen. [moves her tea cup away]
Lois: You might be surprised at what I'd let happen. [moves her tea cup away]
Piama: [stands up] So... what's gonna happen?
Lois: [stands up] I don't know. What is gonna happen?
Quote from Piama
Piama: You know, Francis isn't the screw-up you think he is.
Lois: Really?
Piama: Did you know he works sixteen hours a day at his job and he still managed to build a wheelchair ramp for my uncle Jake? In fact-
Lois: I don't think we should talk about Francis.
Piama: Why not? He's my husband and your son.
Lois: Needless to say, he and I have a very long and complicated history together that I don't feel like explaining to you.
Piama: Admit it, you don't like me.
Lois: I don't even know you.
Piama: Well, what would you like to know? I'm nineteen, my mom ran off when I was three and my dad kicked me out of the house when I was fourteen because I threw out his liquor. I've been married once before, no kids, thank God, and last year I spent three weeks in jail, but it wasn't my fault.
Quote from Dewey
Hal: A man likes to be noticed when he walks in a room, Lois!
Lois: Boys, would you leave the room a minute so your father and I can talk?
Dewey: No!
Lois: Excuse me?
Dewey: I'm not leaving! You guys just chase us out whenever you want without even asking us! I'm getting tired of it! Watching TV is the only thing to do in this house that's actually fun! So you're left with two choices! You can either fight somewhere else or get us a TV for our room!
[cut to Dewey stood in the corner of the room facing the wall:]
Dewey: There's no reasoning with that woman.
Reese: [ditto] I thought you made some good points.
Malcolm: It doesn't matter, she doesn't listen anyway. It's like talking to a wall.
Reese: [chuckles] Hey, that's what we're doing.