Hal Quote #281
Lois: Come on, Reese. We're don't want to be late. We're doing the mambo tonight. I'll be home about 10:30.
[Hal groans as he struggles to open a jar of pickles]
Lois: What are you doing?
Hal: Is it too much to ask that we get some pickles in this house that are edible?!
Lois: Hal, what's wrong?
Hal: Nothing. Just- Just go to your class.
Lois: Look, you have been snapping at everybody all week. My class can wait one minute. Now, you tell me what's going on.
Hal: [sighs] All right. This thing happened. And I didn't wanna talk about it because I wasn't sure it actually happened and if it didn't I'd be like the biggest jerk in the world for saying it did when it didn't. I'd be creating this whole big issue, but the more I think about it, the more I know... it did happen. Oh, it did!
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Poker’ Quotes
Quote from Stevie
Stevie: And still... he has... nothing!
Malcolm: Alright. You know what? That's it! I'm writing about you doing a movie.
Stevie: But my movie's... about your paper.
Malcolm: Yeah. I'm doing my paper about your movie about me doing my paper!
Stevie: Fine! My movie's... about you doing... your paper... about me doing... my...
Malcolm: Alright, I get it!
Stevie: ... movie... about you...
Quote from Lois
Lois: Oh, with the boys asleep this house is so quiet!
Hal: Mm-hm.
Lois: Such a nice idea to build a fire.
Hal: Yeah. Hey, I didn't build a fire. I thought you built a fire.
[After Hal and Lois extinguish the fire, they comb through the charred evidence on the kitchen table as the boys stand behind them:]
Hal: Well, looks like Reese got a D in English. And Dewey seems to be fighting again.
Dewey: Biting.
Lois: Oh, Malcolm, tell your teacher I'd love to chaperone the class overnight. We can share a tent.
Quote from Stevie
Malcolm: I can't believe Mr. Herkabe allowed you to do a video project instead of a paper!
Stevie: You could have... asked!
Malcolm: I don't have parents rich enough to buy me a videocamera.
Stevie: Rich... and compensating.
Malcolm: I don't know even what I'm going to write about. I mean, what's your movie gonna be about?
Stevie: The creative... process. You writing... your paper.
Malcolm: Is that on?! Turn it off! I don't have an idea. You're going to make me look like an idiot. I'm serious!
Stevie: This is... great! Now knock... me over!