Hal Quote #115
Lois: I know what will cheer you up. Why don't we go gamble a little?
Hal: What, now? Where does it say that just because you're at a casino you have to gamble? I-I-I I'd rather spend some more time with my boys. [play wrestles Reese]
Reese: Oh stop it, Dad. Please stop.
Lois: Hal, you made me sit for eight hours in that car listening to your foolproof system for winning at Keno. Now you're telling me you don't want to gamble?
Hal: We are surrounded by the great outdoors, Lois. I was thinking we might all go for a hike. [opens balcony door; sand blows in face]
Lois: Okay, what have you done?
Hal: What do you mean?
Lois: Why are you avoiding the casino?
Hal: Well, sweetheart, we could sit here and I could tell you all about it and you might find it all very amusing. Or you could think about the fact that I'm offering to take the boys off your hands for the whole day.
Lois: Don't forget the sun block.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Casino’ Quotes
Quote from Hal
Lois: What? You can't sleep?
Hal: No, I have this terrible feeling we've forgotten something. Let's see: trash, locks, lights... Oh, well, whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until tomorrow morning.
[the next morning, Hal and Lois walk into the kitchen and find Dewey stood in a corner facing the wall:]
Hal: Oh, boy. Alright, son... Son, I think you've learned your lesson.
Dewey: Ok. Thanks, Dad.
Hal: We've got to stop doing this.
Quote from Craig
Francis: I can't believe this. I bought my own bus ticket home to spend the whole weekend with you.
Craig: I hear you. It's a shame you had to spend your own money. I discovered a way you can travel for free through the Internet.
Francis: What? Hacking into the airline's reservation system?
Craig: No, that's illegal. I go to a chat room and pretend to be a really hot 18-year-old girl. I'm Debbie. Blond, naive and I love to wear sundresses. Right now I'm having a lot of problems at home. Dad's so mean. I'm going through all these changes. All these strange new feelings. He just doesn't under...
Francis: The free travel?
Craig: Right. Debbie goes to this chat room. She gets really friendly with some lonely guy. Before long he's willing to pay for a visit. Right now I'm sitting on a ticket to Tampa. But I make sure he buys Debbie full fare coach with no restriction. She may look good in thong, but she's no dummy.
Francis: Sweet.
Quote from Craig
Craig: M, Z, R, Y, C... Nice try. What's that supposed to mean?
Francis: Mzryc. It's another military term. You know, the helmets that horses wear.
Craig: Oh, right, right, right. This is nice. Hanging out on a Saturday, playing Scrabble, couple of guys relaxing. So your folks get along okay?
Francis: What?
Craig: Nothing. Here we go. Read it and weep.
Francis: C, A, T. Hey, that's two "cat"s for you, that's great.
Craig: Just playing the tiles I'm dealt. So, uh, you pick up any bad vibes here on the home front, you let me know, right?
Francis: Why?
Craig: Hey, take it easy cowboy, just making small talk.
Francis: Okay, I guess they're doing fine.
Craig: She's a strong little lady that mother of yours. Sure, we have our moments at work, but you can't stay mad at this woman for long.
Francis: You don't have to live with her.
Craig: Maybe you just don't understand her.
Francis: What's to understand? She's a total control freak.
Craig: Maybe she doesn't get the support she needs here at home.
Francis: Well, I wouldn't know since she sent me to military school.
Craig: Because you're a spoiled brat. And I'm pretty sure that mzryc ends in a K.