Lois Quote #54
Quote from Lois in Lois vs. Evil
Lois: What do mean, "fired"?! You can't fire me for this.
Mr. Pinter: Sorry. Store policy is very clear about stealing.
Lois: But he didn't steal it; he returned it. It's right there. The bottle is perfect. You can just put it right back on the shelf.
Mr. Pinter: I already marked it out of inventory. My hands are tied here.
Lois: What are you talking about? You don't even do inventory. You foist if off on me because you make so many mistakes.
Mr. Pinter: You're not exactly making me regret my decision here, Lois.
Dewey: Mom?
Lois: Oh, honey, it's okay. It's okay. This is just an excuse. You have hated me since the minute you got here because I was first choice for your job and I turned it down.
Mr. Pinter: You know, you think what you want, okay? At least I didn't raise a thief.
[After a loud ripping sound, Lois walks over and hands Craig a wig]
Lois: Velcro. I win the pool.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Lois vs. Evil’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Malcolm: [to camera] It's been ten days since Mom lost her job. Yesterday for dinner, we had macaroni and rice. Today it's rice and macaroni.
Reese: Mom, I can't eat this stuff anymore.
Lois: Reese, this is not the time for complaining.
Reese: I'm not complaining; I'm constipated.
Lois: I'm sorry, we can't afford to live lavishly anymore. Drink your milk.
Dewey: It's lumpy.
Lois: Then chew it.
Quote from Lois
Malcolm: You're going to keep the food?
Lois: Yes. I'm not going to throw away perfectly good pie filling and... lamb chutney.
Malcolm: Don't you even care how humiliating this is?
Reese: We've done can drives. This is just the crap people find when they clean out the garage.
Lois: Okay, just stop it. I know how hard this is but no one ever said life is fair. Sometimes decent, hard-working people get dumped on for no good reason. They just have to wipe their eyes and keep on walking. Something will turn up. We just have to hold on a little bit longer.
Hal: And in the meantime be thankful for small favors. Anyone want the last olive?
Lois: Those aren't olives. Those are peaches.
[cut to an ambulance driving down the street with its siren on]
Quote from Hal
Lois: A $150 bottle of cognac? How could you take this?!
Dewey: I'm sorry.
Hal: My God, would you look at this thing? Can you imagine the man who spends $150 on a bottle of cognac? What do you think a guy like that pays for socks?