Lois: What do mean, "fired"?! You can't fire me for this.
Mr. Pinter: Sorry. Store policy is very clear about stealing.
Lois: But he didn't steal it; he returned it. It's right there. The bottle is perfect. You can just put it right back on the shelf.
Mr. Pinter: I already marked it out of inventory. My hands are tied here.
Lois: What are you talking about? You don't even do inventory. You foist if off on me because you make so many mistakes.
Mr. Pinter: You're not exactly making me regret my decision here, Lois.
Dewey: Mom?
Lois: Oh, honey, it's okay. It's okay. This is just an excuse. You have hated me since the minute you got here because I was first choice for your job and I turned it down.
Mr. Pinter: You know, you think what you want, okay? At least I didn't raise a thief.
[After a loud ripping sound, Lois walks over and hands Craig a wig]
Lois: Velcro. I win the pool.