Reese Quote #631
Quote from Reese in Hal Grieves
Malcolm: What the hell's all this?
Reese: Turns out Dad still has some grieving left to do.
Malcolm: I can't believe you. You lied to me and you totally took advantage of him.
Reese: I don't see it that way. They say money can't buy love but they're wrong. I'm actually starting to love Dad. Now I'm not saying somebody couldn't come along and outbid him, but right now, he's the front-runner.
Malcolm: You can't do this. This is wrong. You're giving all this back.
Reese: Who are you to question his process?
Malcolm: Reese, he's crazy.
Reese: Mom's crazy. But she's the kind of crazy where all she does is yell at us and punish. Now Dad's crazy in a way where he buys us an XBox 360. And you want to mess with that? You're just afraid of happiness, Malcolm.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Hal Grieves’ Quotes
Quote from Abe
Abe: Sounds like he needs to talk to someone.
Lois: Abe, thank you! I know he respects you.
Abe: Not me. I don't want to see him cry. He needs to talk to a professional.
Lois: A therapist?
Abe: No, a professional actor. I suggest William Shatner, TV's Captain Kirk.
Lois: What?
Abe: That's who I turn to in a time of need. Lois, there's this wonderful service where they hook up ordinary people with celebrities. You pay a fee, and you get a phone call from your choice of participating TV or movie stars. Well, mostly TV stars.
Lois: And you think this is something Hal would want?
Abe: Absolutely! He's a huge fan of classic Trek. It's not something you share with your wife. Lois, believe me, I don't think I would've gotten through my social anxiety disorder without a few late-night discussions with Agent Mulder. It turns out the truth was right in here.
Quote from Hal
Hal: [on the phone] No, no, no, don't hang up. We've almost made our decision.
Reese: I get three meat toppings for the price of one!
Dewey: No, no! Buy two pizzas, get one free!
Reese: That's two free cheese pizzas! I'd rather eat vomit!
Malcolm: [to camera] The prospect of a deal sends this family into a frenzy. When you throw in pizza, they need me to keep from totally losing perspective. [out loud] Shut up, everyone! Just shut up! If we're not having deep-dish, then I swear I will tear up these "free cheesy bread" coupons right now!
Reese: Damn your cheesy bread! I need toppings!
Dewey: Why don't we just get the stuffed crust special?
Hal: And lose my free bucket of soda? Are you insane?! [on the phone] Now, listen, Dennis, I'm a reasonable man, but I can't go back to my family with a lot of lawyer talk about coupon expiration dates. So why don't we just reduce the two three-fers to two-fers? Five toppings on each, and we'll just grandfather in the wacky wings, okay? No, no, hold on, hold on. This call-waiting guy will not take a hint! [switches line] Hello. I can't talk right now. I- Yes. What?
Malcolm: Dad, come on, you're gonna lose those wings! [Hal hangs up] What?
Hal: My father died.
Quote from Hal
Hal: Wake up, boys! You don't want breakfast to melt!
Dewey: Ice cream?
Hal: Well, last time I checked, you can't have a sundae bar without it. [chuckles] Wake up, Malcolm. [feeds Malcolm]
Malcolm: [splutters] Dad, it's 5:00 in the morning.
Hal: Well, I couldn't sleep until my sons are as happy as I can make them. Today's special, every scoop comes with a hug! And it doesn't stop here. We've got a full day of pick-up basketball in the park, a barbecue, more ice cream, then I thought we'd take a nap underneath a tree, and then catch fireflies.
Dewey: What about school?
Hal: I've got that covered. "Please excuse my son. He has the..." [hands sick notes to Malcolm, Reese and Dewey] flu / explosive diarrhea / a rare bone disease. We may have to get you a cane.
Dewey: Cool!
Malcolm: Does Mom know?
Hal: Please, will you let me worry about your mom, okay? Seriously, though, don't tell her. Now, who wants a ride on top of the car?