Lois Quote #617
Quote from Lois in Reese vs. Stevie
Lois: I had that dream again last night. Cheerleading tryouts. Like it wasn't bad enough it happened, I have to relive it for the rest of my life. I was so excited to think that I might be a Cougar, and finally feel like I belonged. The routine was nothing, I'd done that stuff in gymnastics for years. And still, I practiced that routine for weeks making sure that it was perfect. The day of the tryouts, I borrowed my sister's good sweater, spent about an hour on my hair, stuffed my bra, even shoved a little extra in there for luck. And when I got down to the gym, I found out I had to go first, in front of the whole squad and everyone else who was trying out. So I just pretended to be braver than I was. I smiled real big, and I went out there and I started my routine. I did a round-off, a cartwheel, a kip-up, it was going great, I was so happy. I landed my back-flip dead solid perfect. I threw up my arms, and instead of everybody cheering everybody was laughing. And I looked down, and there was a 30-foot-long trail of toilet paper along the tumbling mat. Everything I worked for, everything I wanted so desperately... ruined because of my vanity. And you know what the worst part is? I didn't even learn anything. Deep down, I'm still just as shallow as I was then. All that fussing and primping and time I wasted to shut out laughter that stopped 30 years ago. It's disgusting. If I had any guts I would just cut off my hair right now. You know, just face it down, and beat it! [phone rings]
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Reese vs. Stevie’ Quotes
Quote from Reese
[When Lois pulls into the driveway with a car full of groceries, she is listening to an audio book, "A Dish Served Deadsly" ]
Man: [on tape] While Betty kept the fat man occupied, I ducked down the hallway to his office.
If I found his phone records, they would prove that he was the one who called the police station on the night of the murder.
[that night, Lois is still in the car listening to the tape as she eats the food she bought:]
Man: [on tape] All I knew was, the next person through that door would be the man who killed my partner. "Hello, McKendrick," I heard from behind me. I spun around, but standing there was...
Reese: [on tape] A stupid housewife who wouldn't let her son buy nunchuks even though they're totally safe.
Lois: Reese!
Quote from Lois
Lois: All right, Jamie. The doctor said there's no physical reason you can't talk, so that is exactly what you are going to do. Talk. He said the best way to get you started is for me to talk to you constantly about everything happening around you so that you live in a more verbal world. That means Mommy's going to narrate everything she's doing, like right now when she's going over here to make you a snack. Then it'll be time to do the laundry, and after that she gets to make dinner for the whole family. Who will wolf it down in ten seconds and leave her to do the dishes by herself before she gets to make the boys' lunches for school the next day. Then she'll get ready for bed after everybody else. And discover that the bathroom is a swampy, hairy mess, and Mommy gets to spend her last waking minutes with a sponge and a can of cleanser. Then it'll be time to wake up in the morning and she'll do it all over again. Day after day, week after week, for the next 30 years until Mommy dies. And with Mommy's luck, even that won't be the end of it!
Quote from Abe
Abe: Ah. There you are. Stevie, you ran off without your backup inhaler.
Stevie: Thanks... Dad.
Abe: Did Stevie tell you his big news?
Malcolm: No. What's going on?
Abe: Stevie's been accepted as a research subject at the Norvet Biomedical Institute. Dr. Norvet himself picked him for the motor-neuropathy program.
Stevie: It's... nothing.
Abe: Nothing? Come on, Stevie. This is the most exciting thing that's happened to us since they put your stomach on the inside. Who knows? This Christmas might just be our first ski vacation.
Stevie: Dad.
Abe: Tomorrow after school we'll go look at snowboards.
Stevie: Dad.
Abe: I said just look.