Lois: I had that dream again last night. Cheerleading tryouts. Like it wasn't bad enough it happened, I have to relive it for the rest of my life. I was so excited to think that I might be a Cougar, and finally feel like I belonged. The routine was nothing, I'd done that stuff in gymnastics for years. And still, I practiced that routine for weeks making sure that it was perfect. The day of the tryouts, I borrowed my sister's good sweater, spent about an hour on my hair, stuffed my bra, even shoved a little extra in there for luck. And when I got down to the gym, I found out I had to go first, in front of the whole squad and everyone else who was trying out. So I just pretended to be braver than I was. I smiled real big, and I went out there and I started my routine. I did a round-off, a cartwheel, a kip-up, it was going great, I was so happy. I landed my back-flip dead solid perfect. I threw up my arms, and instead of everybody cheering everybody was laughing. And I looked down, and there was a 30-foot-long trail of toilet paper along the tumbling mat. Everything I worked for, everything I wanted so desperately... ruined because of my vanity. And you know what the worst part is? I didn't even learn anything. Deep down, I'm still just as shallow as I was then. All that fussing and primping and time I wasted to shut out laughter that stopped 30 years ago. It's disgusting. If I had any guts I would just cut off my hair right now. You know, just face it down, and beat it! [phone rings]