Piama: Oh, look at this. You got Francis a watch. That was so nice of you. [smashes watch]
Lois: This is a rare promotional Doobie Brothers EP. Oh. Hal almost cried when he found this at a yard sale. [snaps record in half]
Piama: It still doesn't seem like enough.
Lois: Oh, honey, this is just how we get the creative juices flowing. It's tough. You have to make your husband miserable, but I have to make mine miserable and make it a warning to the other three boys in the house.
Piama: Do men ever think about what's gonna happen when they do these stupid things?
Lois: No, that's what's weird about men, they never do. I guarantee you those two won't even think about the consequences of their actions until five minutes before they come home.
Piama: So no matter how low I set the bar, he'll still find a way to crawl under it?
Lois: You still think there's a bar. That's so cute.

Piama: "Oh, I'm really looking forward to dinner." What a jerk.
Lois: I don't know what I'm gonna end up doing to him. All I know is every stroke of this brush strengthens my killing arm.
Piama: Do you have another bucket? I can get started on the tracks in the living room.
Lois: Oh, I'll just end up redoing them all myself anyway. Why don't you just watch some TV? Then you'll be out of the way.
Piama: Lois! No one is as useless as you think I am! My focus should be on hating my husband and planning revenge, not worrying about whether I belong here.
Lois: You are absolutely right. I'm sorry. You deserve better.
Piama: Thank you. I appreciate that. So now what?
Lois: Well, I don't know. We're kind of in uncharted waters here. Drink?
Piama: Absolutely.

Hal: Hey, it's the birthday boy. Or should I say birthday man?
Piama: I know you said not to bring anything, but I brought a salad.
Lois: Oh, thank you, Piama. That's so thoughtful. I'll just take it in the kitchen and rewash it.