Craig Quote #130
Quote from Craig in Living Will
Craig: Mama? Oh, my God, she's beautiful. I thought you said all the photos of her were destroyed in the twister that killed her.
Vic Feldspar: What did you want me to say? That your mother ran out on me with a guy who owned a pie shop? That after years of slaving away to give that woman everything, she decided she wasn't attracted to me anymore? That I wasn't man enough for her? Come on, Craig. What would that have done to your self-esteem?
Craig: So, my mom is alive?
Vic Feldspar: Oh, great. So, now this all going to be about her.
Craig: How could you do this to me? How could you lie to me all these years?
Vic Feldspar: I did what I thought was best for you.
Craig: No, you didn't. You did what you thought would punish her. All this time, you weren't yelling at me, but at this beautiful, beautiful woman. Dad, I'm not going with you. My life isn't a mess. I love my life. I love my job, I love my cat, I love my friends. I've made something of myself. I'm Desk Sergeant at my Neighborhood Watch. And a 14th-level elf cleric. I am not going to throw that away.
Vic Feldspar: You almost sounded like a man for a second.
Craig: Good-bye, Dad.
Vic Feldspar: You actually have a pretty good grip there, son.
Craig: It's my joystick hand.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Living Will’ Quotes
Quote from Lois
Lois: Wow, I remember this: this is Reese's fifth birthday.
Hal: This must be Christmas the same year.
Lois: Oh, he grew up so fast. [holds up X-ray]
Hal: He sure did. Here's Malcolm's first day at school.
Lois: Oh. Remember when we lost Dewey at the flea market.
Hal: Still keeps great time.
Lois: You want to go through the arrest reports?
Hal: I'll pour some more wine.
Quote from Hal
Lois: Hal, do you want Raisin Bran or oatmeal?
Hal: Oatmeal. No, wait, Raisin Bran. No, no oatmeal. Oh, but Raisin Bran's got that crunch. And those raisins. But sometimes you get too many raisins. You don't have that problem with oatmeal. Oh, but oatmeal can be lumpy. But sometimes good lumpy. But, not usually. So definitely it's going to be Raisin Bran... No, eggs!
Lois: You're having Raisin Bran.
Hal: Oh, God, thank you.
Quote from Reese
Craig: Hey, boys, what do you say the four of us have a giant tickle party?! [closes door] Okay, that was just a cover I didn't want to alarm your parents.
Malcolm: What's going on?
Craig: I need you guys to teach me how to fight. There's this jerk who's always picking on me, and I'm sick of it.
Reese: Why are you asking us?
Craig: Because this guy's stronger and faster than me. The only chance I've got is if I fight dirty. And let's face it, your family is legendary for that.
Malcolm: Well, people exaggerate...
Craig: Please, you've got to teach me everything you know.
Reese: I don't think that's such a great idea. I mean, I teach you some tricks, you teach them to someone else, he teaches them to another guy and sooner or later, I'm in a fair fight.