Lois: I was ready to give up on my war with Luigi's, and then your father inspired me to take action. So yesterday, I called Clyde on Your Side.
Hal: Who?
Lois: You know, that consumer guy on Channel 5. They're doing a whole exposé on Luigi's. They told me it was going to be on at 10:23. Oh, oh, oh, here it is.
Clyde: [on TV] This may look like a friendly, neighborhood pizza parlor, but thanks to an alert tipster, we discovered that this hangout could be hanging you out to dry.
Lois: Alert tipster, that's me.
Clyde: [on TV] It turns out this eatery adds a secret 15% service charge to every tab. I want to be clear this does not reflect on the Italian people, most of whom are hard-working decent Americans. But for the cadre of tricksters here at Luigi's, we've got a tip for you: clean up-a you act. Who are the victims in this scam? Senior citizens on a fixed income. Local teens after a dance. [Malcolm hides from the camera] And of course, the biggest price is paid...
Lois: Oh, my God!
Hal: That traitor! How could he betray the trust of this family? Especially you, Lois.
Dewey: Doesn't he know what you've been fighting for?
Reese: Yeah! That betrayer! Look at him shove that pizza in his mouth right there in the restaurant when we have to sneak ours in the garage!
Lois: What?!
Clyde: [on TV] This isn't just the sad story of...
Reese: All right, I was saving this until I needed it. Dad does a five-minute imitation of you on the toilet. I'll show you the videotape if you're willing to deal.