Malcolm: I don't deserve you guys. I'm sorry I ignored you, and I appreciate the gesture, but you're really better off without me.
Cynthia: Oh, come on. Will you get off this sulking thing? Since when do you care what other people think of you?
Malcolm: Cynthia, don't do this.
Cynthia: Malcolm, you hate everyone. To you, everyone's either a moron or a creep or a poseur. Why do you suddenly care about their opinion of you?
Malcolm: Because I'm shallow, okay? I want them to like me.
Lloyd: It's not so bad, Malcolm. It's only the first week. You have, like, four years of high school left.
Malcolm: It's okay. I spent three years being a Krelboyne. I can spend four years being a joke.
Cynthia: Malcolm, you're not a joke.
Boy #1: Hey, Stainalator!
Boy #2: Bruce Spring-stain.