Hal: Ah! Not bad. Still have a little snap in my skin.
Younger Hal: [imaginary] For the love of God, what did you do to me?
Hal: What do you mean?
Younger Hal: All those sit-ups I did, all those miles I ran every morning and this is how you repay me, by looking like hell?!
Hal: You think I look bad?
Younger Hal: Please! The crow's feet, the turkey neck?
Hal: OK, a few years have gone by, there's been a little wear and tear.
Younger Hal: Wear and tear?! You look like a puppet of yourself made out of cottage cheese!
Hal: What are you talking about? Check out the pant melons! They still do the trick.
Younger Hal: Sure, it's magnificent. But you're not going to be able to coast on that forever.