Hal Quote #307
Quote from Hal in Hal's Birthday
Hal: Ah! Not bad. Still have a little snap in my skin.
Younger Hal: [imaginary] For the love of God, what did you do to me?
Hal: What do you mean?
Younger Hal: All those sit-ups I did, all those miles I ran every morning and this is how you repay me, by looking like hell?!
Hal: You think I look bad?
Younger Hal: Please! The crow's feet, the turkey neck?
Hal: OK, a few years have gone by, there's been a little wear and tear.
Younger Hal: Wear and tear?! You look like a puppet of yourself made out of cottage cheese!
Hal: What are you talking about? Check out the pant melons! They still do the trick.
Younger Hal: Sure, it's magnificent. But you're not going to be able to coast on that forever.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Hal's Birthday’ Quotes
Quote from Piama
Lois: Will you stop this, please?
Piama: You just can't stand for someone in your fancy family to marry beneath him.
Lois: What?
Piama: Just because I'm not all classy like you.
Lois: Classy? You think I'm classy?
Piama: Don't laugh at me.
Lois: I'm sorry, it's just this is a first. I hate to break it to you, but I am not classy.
Piama: Oh, yeah.
Lois: You know, I guess what you call class, I call manners.
Piama: I came down here hoping to get along with you. But you're not gonna let that happen. [moves her tea cup away]
Lois: You might be surprised at what I'd let happen. [moves her tea cup away]
Piama: [stands up] So... what's gonna happen?
Lois: [stands up] I don't know. What is gonna happen?
Quote from Piama
Piama: You know, Francis isn't the screw-up you think he is.
Lois: Really?
Piama: Did you know he works sixteen hours a day at his job and he still managed to build a wheelchair ramp for my uncle Jake? In fact-
Lois: I don't think we should talk about Francis.
Piama: Why not? He's my husband and your son.
Lois: Needless to say, he and I have a very long and complicated history together that I don't feel like explaining to you.
Piama: Admit it, you don't like me.
Lois: I don't even know you.
Piama: Well, what would you like to know? I'm nineteen, my mom ran off when I was three and my dad kicked me out of the house when I was fourteen because I threw out his liquor. I've been married once before, no kids, thank God, and last year I spent three weeks in jail, but it wasn't my fault.
Quote from Dewey
Hal: A man likes to be noticed when he walks in a room, Lois!
Lois: Boys, would you leave the room a minute so your father and I can talk?
Dewey: No!
Lois: Excuse me?
Dewey: I'm not leaving! You guys just chase us out whenever you want without even asking us! I'm getting tired of it! Watching TV is the only thing to do in this house that's actually fun! So you're left with two choices! You can either fight somewhere else or get us a TV for our room!
[cut to Dewey stood in the corner of the room facing the wall:]
Dewey: There's no reasoning with that woman.
Reese: [ditto] I thought you made some good points.
Malcolm: It doesn't matter, she doesn't listen anyway. It's like talking to a wall.
Reese: [chuckles] Hey, that's what we're doing.