Malcolm: [over bullhorn] Give me liberty or give me death to cockroaches, fleas and ticks. Lucky Aide Bug Bombs only $2.49. [to camera] Two years ago, I was thrown out of the locker room completely naked. Compared to now, that was a moment of pride and quiet dignity. [over bullhorn] Fourscore and seven... stool softeners for the price of six.
Lois: How you doing, honey? The manager says he hasn't heard you announce the Lucky Leader specials all morning.
Malcolm: No one cares about the special, Mom.
Lois: All right, if you want me to get up on a ladder and do it with you...
Malcolm: [sings over bullhorn] It's a grand old sale It's a high-flying sale On an exciting personal hygiene product that's new.
Lois: See? It's fun when you get into it.
Malcolm: [sings over bullhorn] If your jock has a rash And you want to save cash There's a star-spangled ointment for you. [to camera] Crap. I'd kill myself, except they'd run that picture in the paper.
Craig: Sorry I'm late, big guy! Hey! Where's the stopper for your pee hose?