Malcolm: Look, I know where this is going-
Reese: No, you don't. You're going to help me.
Malcolm: That is where I was going.
Reese: Oh. Good. Let's get started.
Malcolm: No!
Reese: Come on! You have to!
Malcolm: No. Don't you know how embarrassing that could be for me?
Reese: I know what's more embarrassing.
Malcolm: What?
Reese: Getting beaten into a coma by a good boy cheerleader.

Reese: [o.s.] [sobs loudly]
Malcolm: Come on, Reese, I really have to go!
Reese: [o.s.] I'm the most worthless, putrid loser in the world. Everybody hates me. I hate me. [sobs]
Hal: Your brother in there?
Malcolm: Where else?

Malcolm: You can't quit! I've worked too hard for you to quit!
Reese: I hate to inform you, brain boy, it's not about you, it's about me.
Malcolm: That's before I spent an entire day with your hand on my ass! You owe me!
Reese: I can't help you.
Malcolm: Yes, you can! You can break the cycle Dad was talking about! You have to talk to Wendy!
Reese: I can't! I freeze up!
Malcolm: Do you want to end up like Francis or Uncle Pete?
Reese: I don't care anymore! Anything's better than this!
Malcolm: Even marrying Mom?

Hal: Dewey, your mother and I want to talk to you. You're a good boy. But in life being good doesn't always get you the things that you want. I guess what I'm trying to say is that when your mother and I don't buy you a toy, it doesn't mean that we don't love you. Hmm? You just have to learn that disappointment is all part of being a grown-up. But, luckily you're not a grown-up yet!
Lois: Ta-da!
Dewey: Wow! [Lois and Hal chuckle]
Lois: Oh, come on, how cute is that?
Toy: [v.o.] [Dewey imagines] Break me.
Dewey: Okay.