Marshall Quote #1107
Quote from Marshall in Something New
Marshall: [on the phone] So, you want me to be a judge?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: And I would start a week from Tuesday?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: Could I maybe start a year from Tuesday?
Man: No.
Marshall: Got to be a week from Tuesday?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: And I'd be a real judge?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: With a robe?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: Gavel?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: Wacky Southern accent?
Man: No.
Marshall: [in Southern accent] Now, counselor, are you absolutely sure?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: And I have to be in New York for this?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: I can't telecommute?
Man: No.
Marshall: I couldn't be the crazy speakerphone judge?
Man: No.
Marshall: Could I be a hologram?
Man: No.
Marshall: Animatronic robot like Abe Lincoln from the Hall of Presidents that I control from afar with a joystick?
Man: No.
Marshall: Do you remember the giant Jor-El head from Superman?
Man: Yes.
Marshall: Well, what if I...?
Man: No.
Marshall: Is there any way that I could do this and also spend the next year of my life in Italy with my wife?
Man: No.
Marshall: This is such a big decision. I'm not good at big decisions.
Man: Are you sure you want to be a judge?
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Something New’ Quotes
Quote from Lily
Lily: So, what do you want to do tonight? Drink ourselves blind, set a car on fire? Ooh, watch a movie that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital "I"? I'm all yours, Teddy Westside.
Ted: Actually, tonight it's Teddy Westchester. Got to head up to the house, take care of some stuff.
Lily: Oh, yeah, how's the restoration going?
Ted: Actually, done.
Lily: You finished the house? Well, I want to see it
Ted: Marshall already canceled the cable, huh?
Lily: And the Wi-Fi. It's like Little House on the Freaking Prairie up there.
Quote from Lily
Ted: They're happy. And I'm happy for them. I want them to have an amazing life together. I just... I just think it would be best for everyone if I wasn't around for it.
Lily: Did something happen recently between you and Robin?
Ted: No.
Lily: Where's the poop, Ted?
Quote from Barney
Barney: El Piramide. The first cigar we ever smoked together.
Robin: Aw, Barney.
Krirsten: Excuse me. Hi. Could you not? Thanks.
Robin: Uh, dude, I'm not gonna light 'em up in here. I'm just looking at 'em.
Krirsten: Right, but even when they're unlit, the smell, it's very...
Calvin: Pungent.
Krirsten: Exactly. Thank you. It's a very pungent smell. So, could you not? Thanks.
Robin: Okay.
Calvin: I'm sorry, can you also put the bag away? It-It's just really unappetizing to look at.
Barney: You're unappetizing to look at.
Robin: You know what? Um, I'll put them away, okay? Enjoy your night.
Calvin: We'll try.
Robin: Did those two just become our archenemies?
Barney: No, Robin, they've always been our archenemies. They've only just revealed themselves.