Marshall Quote #932

Quote from Marshall in The Drunk Train

Lily: Sorry this is taking so long. He kicked for everybody else.
Marshall: It's hard for the little guy to perform under pressure.
Barney: Top ten things Marshall said on his wedding night.
Kevin: Whoa! It was small, but I think I felt something.
Robin: Top ten things Lily said on her wedding night.
Marshall: Stop laughing at it, Lily.
Ted, Barney & Robin: Top ten things Marshall said on his wedding night!

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 ‘The Drunk Train’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Ted: What the hell happened on that train? It was absolute chaos.
Barney: Ted, when I was at M.I.T., my favorite Einstein quote was: "God doesn't play dice with the universe."
Ted: You didn't go to M.I.T.
Barney: I didn't?
Ted: Huh. I actually have no idea where you went to college. Who are you?

Quote from Barney

Future Ted: [v.o.] That night, Barney and I found ourselves in a strange, new universe called... The Drunk Train.
Barney: Where has this heavenly vehicle been all my life? Can you hear its inspiring chant, Ted? I think I can get laid, I think I can get laid. It's-it's The Little Engine with Wood, The Whore-ient Express. The Long Island Tail Road!
Ted: Oh, I got one. Thomas the Spank Engine!
Barney: Ted, that is a children's book.

 Marshall Eriksen Quotes

Quote from The Final Page (Part 2)

Marshall: Oh, I forgot the lullaby. Do you know Marvin's lullaby? We sing it to him every night.
[flashback to Marshall playing guitar and singing to Marvin with Lily adding percussion:]
Marshall: Night, night, little Marvin Stars twinkle for you [Lily plays chimes] The Dreamland train's a-chuggin' [Lily blows train whistle] All your dreams will come true And the horsie says, "Good night" [Lily plays wood scraper block] And the birdie says, "Good night" [Lily blows bird whistle] And the elephant says, "Good night" [Lily plays tuba] And the skeleton playing his own rib cage Says, "Good Night" [Lily plays xylophone] And the robot says, "Good night"
Lily: [uses a voice-changing megaphone] Good night.
Man: [o.s.] Enough with the damn music!
Marshall: [singing] And Mr. Nesbit says, "Good night" And the whole world says, "Good night" Take it, Mommy.
[Lily plays the violin]

Quote from Bagpipes

Barney: Hey, tiger. How you holding up? Do you need a hug? You want to talk about yesterday? Safe space.
Ted: Barney thinks Lily asking you to wash your dishes right away is a sign your marriage is crumbling.
Marshall: What? Why? Lily likes a clean sink, so I do the dishes right away, what's the big deal?
Barney: I'll tell you what the big deal is. You know how I was always the best at being single?
Ted: No.
Barney: Well, now I am the best at relationships. Even better than you and Lily.
Marshall: Aw. Look at you. Had a girlfriend for five minutes, you think you can play with the big boys, adorable. Son, I've been in a relationship since you had a ponytail and were playing Dave Matthews on your mama's Casio. I'm a good boyfriend in my sleep. I can rock a killer foot rub with one hand and brew a kick-ass pot of chamomile in the other that would make you weep. Hell, I've forgotten more about microwaving fat-free popcorn and watching Sandra Bullock movies than you'll ever know, but thanks for your concern, rook.