Ted Quote #1045
Quote from Ted in The Slutty Pumpkin Returns
[When Ted goes to the bathroom during his date, he imagines young Ted talking to him:]
Young Ted: Hey, doofus! It's me: you at age 15. And we made a deal we would always boink any chick that wants to boink us!
Ted: Yes, she's beautiful, it's just there's no connection there. I don't feel intimate with her.
Young Ted: "Intimate"? Let me remind you of some things you did feel "intimate" with when you were 15: a catcher's mitt, an oven mitt, a glass of warm water, a half-open hide-a-bed sofa, a top-loading VCR!
Ted: It's not gonna happen!
Young Ted: Come on! It'll take, like, 30 seconds!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘The Slutty Pumpkin Returns’ Quotes
Quote from Robin
Barney: Why are you doing this to me?
Robin: Okay, you have been ripping on Canada since Justin Bieber was knee-high to a snow blower. So now this Canuck's gonna beat on you like the drummer from Yukon Blonde hopped up on Timbits.
Quote from Robin
Barney: Wait. Where is my cash?
Robin: Oh, yeah, I did a little exchange for ya, Canucklehead. This Canadian dollar here is called a "loonie." And this two-dollar coin? A "toonie." True story.
Barney: It's federal currency and you people talk about it like it's a Hannah-Barbera character.
Robin: Not you people, Barney. Our people.
Quote from Robin
Robin: Yo, Canada.
Barney: What? Dammit!
Robin: Ha, you answer to "Canada" now. I'll make you a deal. You wear this costume to the Halloween party tomorrow night, I'll drop it forever.
Barney: You can't be serious.
Robin: Oh, I am as serious as a poutine shortage in Chicoutimi during a curling bonspiel.
Barney: I don't know what any of those words mean.
Robin: Yes. You do.