Quote from Ted in The Slutty Pumpkin Returns
[When Ted goes to the bathroom during his date, he imagines young Ted talking to him:] Young Ted: Hey, doofus! It's me: you at age 15. And we made a deal we would always boink any chick that wants to boink us! Ted: Yes, she's beautiful, it's just there's no connection there. I don't feel intimate with her. Young Ted: "Intimate"? Let me remind you of some things you did feel "intimate" with when you were 15: a catcher's mitt, an oven mitt, a glass of warm water, a half-open hide-a-bed sofa, a top-loading VCR! Ted: It's not gonna happen! Young Ted: Come on! It'll take, like, 30 seconds!