Ted Quote #934
Quote from Ted in False Positive
Barney: Marshall and Lily got in trouble.
Ted: And you!
Robin: Ooh.
Ted: Barney, you look real stupid in that suit. You're gonna go get your money back and give it to charity. And I don't mean that stripper you keep e-mailing us about... even though we beg you to take us off that list.
Barney: I can't give this suit back. Ted, I glow in the dark. I finally glow in the dark.
Ted: Criminals of New York, attention! This man is wearing a diamond-covered suit! You can retire on the pants alone! Merry Christmas!
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘False Positive’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Future Ted: [v.o.] The next hour got pretty weird.
Barney: Velour tracksuits!
Marshall: Velour is so comfortable.
Lily: These are so soft!
Barney: Remote control helicopters!
Barney: Condoms!
Barney: And last but not least, there is a fleet of limos outside waiting to take us to... a strip club! You get a lap dance! You get a lap dance! You are gonna give me a lap dance! Everybody gets a lap dance!
Quote from Barney
Ted: Uh, has it ever occurred to you to give some of this to charity?
Barney: Charity? You're seriously talking to me about charity, dude? I am Mr. Charity. I frequently sleep with sixes, chubsters, over-30s, I am the Bill and Melinda Gates of the sympathy bang.
Quote from Barney
Barney: Hi there. We've had a lot of fun tonight. But on a more serious note, this is the time of year when we remember the importance of giving. And there's no greater gift than the gift of booty. So this holiday season, why not bang someone in need? I'm Barney Stinson, and that's... one to grow on.
Woman: Um, no.
Barney: Hi there. You know, we've had a lot of fun tonight...