Ted Quote #860
Quote from Ted in Subway Wars
Future Ted: [v.o.] Kids, I also needed a win that day.
[title: "Why I Needed A Win":]
Future Ted: A couple nights earlier, your Uncle Marshall had offhandedly mentioned a web site called...
Ted: Grademyteacher.net?
Marshall: It's this awesome site where students can go say what they really think about their professors. Hey, you're probably on there.
[Ted smashes the glass in his hand]
Future Ted: [v.o.] I just had to see what my students had written about me. And it was... Majestic. Until...
[a commenter labels Ted boring, Ted drops the mug in his hand]
Future Ted: Now, kids, I knew I was a good Professor. That's why I didn't let it bother me. I had nothing to prove. Absolutely nothing.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Subway Wars’ Quotes
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: [inner monologue] I'll show them. My body can outrun any motorized vehicle. I'm like John Henry when he beat the steam engine. All I need is a great folk song.
Marshall: [singing] Gather round, ye children To hear the tale so sweet Of a man who dared to race machines With nothing but his feet
Marshall: Suck it, grand-butt!
Marshall: [singing] Marshall Versus the machines Hyah!
Quote from Lily
Conductor: [indistinct talk over muffled P.A.]
Lily: Track maintenance?
Conductor: [indistinct talk over muffled P.A.]
Lily: 20-minute delay?
Man: How do you do that?
Lily: I grew up here, I speak conductor. Damn it!
[Lily exits the train. The doors then close and the train starts moving.]
Lily: Damn it!
Quote from Barney
Barney: I cannot stop staring at that girl's face.
Ted: Face. Huh. That's your weirdest nickname for boobs yet.
Barney: No, Ted, I'm really looking at her face.
Lily: Aw... That's actually really sweet.
Barney: Puffy cheeks, smudged mascara, slightly red nose... That girl was just crying. She's so sad and defenseless. Anyone have a condom?
All: Oh! Oh, God! No, no, no!
Lily: That's it! You know what? Five-minute time-out! Corner booth! Now.