Ted Quote #310
Quote from Ted in Wait For It...
Ted: And underneath, it should say "I win". And then it should have flames coming out the bottom.
Amy: Oh, fire. We should start a fire.
Ted: After this maybe. Oh, man, this is going to be legen... wait for it...
Future Ted: [v.o.] And that's all I remember. The next morning, I woke up alone back home.
[Ted wakes up and inspects his body. Ted doesn't have a tattoo on his arms of chests, so he breathes a sigh of relief. As he gets up and goes to the bathroom, we can see a butterfly tattoo across the small of his back]
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Wait For It...’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Not possible. You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board.
Lily: How do you know?
Barney: Glad you asked Lily. I have crafted a list of every vehicle, land-based, aquatic and airborne in which/on which it's possible to have sex. And of those 33 vehicles, I have had sex in/on 31. Windsurfing board, not on the list, not possible. Oh, P.S., in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.
Lily: To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.
Barney: This conversation never happened.
Quote from Marshall
Barney: [answers phone] Go for Barney.
Marshall: Hey, man. It's Marshall. Check your e-mail. Sent you something.
Barney: What is it?
Marshall: Just a new website. Slapcountdown.com.
[Barney goes to the website. The countdown reads 55 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 58 seconds]
Barney: What does this mean? Marshall? Ma...?
[Marshall hangs up. Marshall holds his hand to his face, then practices a slap)
Barney: No. [screams] No!
Quote from Lily
Ted: I just can't believe her. [Ted comes out of the bathroom with his chin shaved] We have this totally amicable split, everything's cool. And she comes back from vacation with that guy? You know what she's doing? She's trying to win the breakup.
Lily: What do you mean "Win the breakup", old timey inventor.
Marshall: What our 21st president, Chester A. Arthur, is trying to say is that in every breakup there are winners and losers.
Lily: It's not a competition. Now, your 80-day balloon race around the world, that was a competition.
Marshall: That's my wife.