Barney Quote #444
Quote from Barney in Wait For It...
Future Ted: [v.o.] The night was doing great. Amy was cool and dangerous. She found a friend for Barney. She even paid for drinks. [Amy steals liquor from behind the bar] Sort of.
Barney: They know us here! You're gonna get us in trouble.
Amy: Tell me something. Do you ask your tailor to leave extra room in the crotch for your huge vagina?
Barney: You... Your vagina. Ted, this chick is crazy. We're leaving.
Amy: Good idea. Let's all go back to my place.
Barney: Your place? Thanks, but no thanks, 1994 Courtney Love.
Amy: I have a hot tub.
[cut to the four of them in a hot tub:]
Barney: Okay, this place is actually pretty nice.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Wait For It...’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Barney: Not possible. You cannot have sex on a windsurfing board.
Lily: How do you know?
Barney: Glad you asked Lily. I have crafted a list of every vehicle, land-based, aquatic and airborne in which/on which it's possible to have sex. And of those 33 vehicles, I have had sex in/on 31. Windsurfing board, not on the list, not possible. Oh, P.S., in order to hit 33, all I need is bobsled and the Apollo 11 space capsule.
Lily: To get that last one, you'd have to break into the Smithsonian.
Barney: This conversation never happened.
Quote from Marshall
Barney: [answers phone] Go for Barney.
Marshall: Hey, man. It's Marshall. Check your e-mail. Sent you something.
Barney: What is it?
Marshall: Just a new website. Slapcountdown.com.
[Barney goes to the website. The countdown reads 55 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 58 seconds]
Barney: What does this mean? Marshall? Ma...?
[Marshall hangs up. Marshall holds his hand to his face, then practices a slap)
Barney: No. [screams] No!
Quote from Lily
Ted: I just can't believe her. [Ted comes out of the bathroom with his chin shaved] We have this totally amicable split, everything's cool. And she comes back from vacation with that guy? You know what she's doing? She's trying to win the breakup.
Lily: What do you mean "Win the breakup", old timey inventor.
Marshall: What our 21st president, Chester A. Arthur, is trying to say is that in every breakup there are winners and losers.
Lily: It's not a competition. Now, your 80-day balloon race around the world, that was a competition.
Marshall: That's my wife.