Ted Quote #152

Quote from Ted in Brunch

Ted: I mean, I don't even know you people. I don't even know how you met.
Alfred Mosby: I never told you how I met your mother?
Ted: No.
Alfred Mosby: Oh, great story. At a bar.
Ted: That's it? That's what passes for communication in our family? Man, when I have kids, and I tell them how I met their mother, I'm gonna tell them everything, the whole damn story.
Alfred Mosby: I think it was an Irish bar.

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 ‘Brunch’ Quotes

Quote from Barney

Barney: Can you believe your dad rack-jacked me like that?
Ted: My dad made out with Wendy the waitress? He cheated on my mom? No, that's impossible.
Barney: Ted, it's a well-known statistic that 83% of people married longer than six months are seeing someone on the side.
Ted: Do you know that when you make up a statistic, you always use "83%"?
Barney: You think I'm lying. Well, have you done any surveys on the subject? Because the good people at www.swingers.openmarriageisnaturallegalizepolygamy.org have, and they beg to differ.
Ted: That's not a real Web site.
Barney: Oh, and I suppose I didn't get a real T-shirt for running in their 10K.

Quote from Barney

Alfred Mosby: Whoa! Bravo, Barney.
Virginia Mosby: That is my all-time favorite sonata. Barney, you are just delightful.
Barney: No, Virginia, you're delightful, I am deligh-ted. And he's just Ted. I'm really not planning these things; they just keep happening.

Quote from Barney

Robin: What's the matter with you? I'm his girlfriend, and I'm not even trying that hard. Way to wreck the curve, kiss-ass.
Barney: Robin, I'm his best friend. That's a commitment. Girlfriend? That's like a bad flu. Out of your system after a couple weeks in bed. High five!