Barney Quote #225
Barney: Can you believe your dad rack-jacked me like that?
Ted: My dad made out with Wendy the waitress? He cheated on my mom? No, that's impossible.
Barney: Ted, it's a well-known statistic that 83% of people married longer than six months are seeing someone on the side.
Ted: Do you know that when you make up a statistic, you always use "83%"?
Barney: You think I'm lying. Well, have you done any surveys on the subject? Because the good people at www.swingers.openmarriageisnaturallegalizepolygamy.org have, and they beg to differ.
Ted: That's not a real Web site.
Barney: Oh, and I suppose I didn't get a real T-shirt for running in their 10K.
How I Met Your Mother Quotes
‘Brunch’ Quotes
Quote from Barney
Alfred Mosby: Whoa! Bravo, Barney.
Virginia Mosby: That is my all-time favorite sonata. Barney, you are just delightful.
Barney: No, Virginia, you're delightful, I am deligh-ted. And he's just Ted. I'm really not planning these things; they just keep happening.
Quote from Robin
Virginia Mosby: Robin, dear, did I say something to upset you?
Robin: Why don't you want me to have your grandkids?
Virginia Mosby: Do you want to have my grandkids?
Robin: No! I mean, I don't know. I just... I want you to want me to want to have your grandkids. And you should. I'm a genetic gold mine. No family history of diabetes or heart disease. Everyone has nonporous teeth and perfect eyesight. I had one schizophrenic uncle but even he had perfect vision. Which was unfortunate for the people around the bell tower he was in, but still he was a very fine man, and...
Quote from Barney
Robin: What's the matter with you? I'm his girlfriend, and I'm not even trying that hard. Way to wreck the curve, kiss-ass.
Barney: Robin, I'm his best friend. That's a commitment. Girlfriend? That's like a bad flu. Out of your system after a couple weeks in bed. High five!